Dating jewish online

In the old days, you would turn to the local matchmaker. Today, we turn to the internet. In order to meet you special somebody online, you have to start with a profile. And I am going to coach you on the basics of making your profile presentable, so you can meet a good Jew.

This is based on the extensive research that I have done of dating sites, looking at every Jewish girls profile, not talking to any of them but still looking for my life partner. And now I bring you some helpful tips on the initial part of your internet dating profile, so you can look good and Jewish.

Choosing a Picture A picture is the first thing people see. Your picture should say Jewish. Have a streimel in the background, sport a prayer shawl, kiss a mezuzah, eat a deli sandwich, hold Shabbos candles and wear a head covering. This will attract the right partner and weed out all people who are not attracted to people who behave like eighty-year old Jews.

The picture must look good. Photoshop it, pixelate it, airbrush it. For many years, my profile had the picture of the Rock. I heard women were attracted to him. But as I later learned, it was too much of a letdown when they showed up to the date. Then I had a phase when I wanted to look more religious, so I posted an old picture of the Rambam with a turban.

Now I just use pictures of myself with the blurring effect. Your picture pose is also important. The thinking fist pose is a classic if you are Greek. Better yet, go for the meditating wilderness pose. It will make you look very spiritual.

Go on a hike and take a picture. The closer you are to a cliff, the better. It always looks more meditative when you are thinking about danger. Nobody needs to see that Rachel wants you to have a great summer. No pictures with other people. All my friends look better than me. No family trip pictures. Not to anyone else. About Me You can leave this blank. It makes you look mysterious, and thus more attractive. Always willing to go out of the way for a friend.

Spending time with friends. To attract the right Jew, this part of your profile must have you looking like the best Jew. I am a Talmid Chacham, a Torah scholar. I learn Torah all day, from morning till night. I work full time. I want a huge family to spend all day together with. I do chesed, acts of kindness, all day long. Make sure anything you put down in your profile is for the whole day I do the morning service into the afternoon.

I call my mom all day long. I go to the Catskills Mountains all summer and head down to Florida all winter. Say nothing about being a dog or cat person. Instead, say you are a zoo person. Maybe you like goldfish? To attract a good Jew, say you are a lox person.

If you are a woman, you can also leave this blank. They saw the picture already. Jewish women melt when they hear that. Other than that, your profile should say nothing. As a guy, please do not say you are looking for somebody who you are attracted to. Learning Torah all day. Working out all day. They will forget about your picture, your religious affiliation, your huge ego, and the fact you cheat when you play war with kids.

Either that or they think that playing basketball once a week is a body type. Write that you are a doctor. Doctor is your level of education too. You can worry about degrees later. Mention nothing about your job. Leave that part blank. Until the prenup is signed, you make nothing. Even better, just leave it all blank.

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Total 3 comments.
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